So the first few days of being back in Lombok for a longer term this time to try and take off the business from Lombok itself hasn’t exactly been the easiest, though I have to admit I am still growing and learning and meeting the most amazing people.
The odds just stack up sometimes and I’d still say keep the faith because this too shall come to pass…
I have been in Lombok since last Thursday 21st November and with the help of kind souls and willing hearts of angels I have been increasingly blessed to meet, I was allowed to go lean and rent a villa on a hill for a great price for the month I am going to be here but recently some slight turn of events and kinks with regards to finances (without going into too much detail) got me wondering if I have it within me to carry this further. I ran a boat trip at a loss even though it was only one guest because I really wanted her to have a great time while in Lombok and get to see what we are trying to do, yet when we saw the many sharks at the fish market on the day of the trip, I really truly felt at a loss as I wondered how long more would it be before I could turn things around entirely and would I be in time or would I run dry on finances before it actually comes to fruition? The frustrations and odds just leaves me wondering if I actually do lack the resilience to get this going.
It reaches a point sometimes when you have nothing much left and all you can find within yourself is to just give what you have and that is something I have learnt from the villagers here in Lombok. I was walking up the hill back to the villa with a guest just a couple of nights ago and we only had one torchlight between the 2 of us so a villager ran towards us and offered us his torch without even leaving a name. I had a hard time seeking him out to return him the torch but beyond that, I was grateful for his extended arm of help expecting nothing back and that was a lesson in life for me to just give anyway, all the time. I sat by the porch of the villa this afternoon and teared up while feeding a stray dog who followed us up the hill despite fear of some other territorial dogs in the region who started growling at her. Thank goodness Spotty (she’s got a lovely big brown spot on her hip which makes her very recognizable and hence the boring doggy name) was smart enough to hide amongst us and make it up the hill unscathed (not without my shooing the offensive dogs away of course) albeit with her tail between her hind legs in fear. For her fighting spirit, I thought she deserved a piece of bread I still had left in the fridge and a bowl of water with tears in my eyes wondering about the odds that had stacked up.
As I trudged up the hill alone in the dark tonight armed with my torch and a misstep made my light waver, it served as a moment’s epiphany to me that the light must be kept stable for the path ahead in spite of the gravel and soft ground that would trip you up. Keep the light shining even if it is shaken up a little. I can fight this battle and I have different plans ahead of me. Let’s go, The Dorsal Effect, we need to meet more kind souls to take us further. I am a trooper.
Focus on the genuine and sincere connections I have made and remember to always give first. Keep keeping it real and it will all work out.
It is this beauty of what conversion entails (taken at yesterday’s amazing trip) that will keep me going, the seas are for protecting and enjoying in its wild beauty we can plunge into over and over again, not for ravaging and plundering and I will keep plunging in to be awed with my dear guests: